Learning Self Love

Learning to Love Yourself

Keto Consults

We enjoy offering our Keto family the option of Keto counseling. While I’m a big advocate of not having to pay for health, to Keto or lose weight, I have to charge for my time. There’s a big difference in answering a question or two within the group or via inbox, then spending hours of my time counseling a new Ketonian and doing them  a personalized meal plan.  You get paid for your time at work, right?

Keto Coaching -To guide you on your journey

Recurring similarities- Flat tire scenario-

There are a couple of things that keep popping up on a regular basis in our coaching sessions. Its almost a recurring theme of how our minds are helping us to derail our success. As a society, we’ve gotten to the place where if we get frustrated, disappointed or upset in any way, we punish ourselves. I often refer to this at the flat tire scenario:

Don't flatten all you own tires
Don't flatten all you own tires

Picture this- You leave your house only to discover one of the tires in your car has been flattened. It’s disappointing, frustrating and disruptive. For anyone in the healthy mind set, we fix that flat and get ourselves back on the road as quickly as we can. Right?

While in the self sabotage lane the story is a little different. On this side of the fence after discovering the flat tire, we allow ourselves to go into a downward spiral. We beat ourselves up with imagined reasons why it’s our one fault. We decide it’s not worth the trouble and instead of fixing the tire, we flatten the other three. Disabling ourselves and our future plans. Next thing we know, everything is gone completely off the wheels, we’re late for work, we’re late for life and we’re disappointed in ourselves.

Now reapply that flat tire scenario to our own lives. Its easy to get derailed, one blink and we’re looking back at months of wrong things we shouldn’t have and feeling simply miserable. Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

Sometimes life has us standing on a slippery slope and we have to be very careful in choosing our next step. Do you want to fix one flat tire, or four?  Do yourself a favour here and stay outta them places. We have to protect ourselves from further harm and realize crappy things (flat tires) happen. The secret to success is knowing this happens to everybody. To brushing yourself off and not letting it change you path.

Learn to fix it yourself
Learn to fix it yourself

Eating right is a form of self respect

We have food memories. We all do. That ice cream cone on the Sunday drive on that gorgeous summer Sunday with our family. The chocolate cake from our birthday surrounded by loving family friends and gifts galore. The dessert from the backyard BBQ when we first met our spouse. Warm fuzzies fueled by love and happy memories, locked in with the memory of how that food added to the pleasure.

Foood Memories can't be recaptured
Food memories can't be recaptured

So, it’s only natural when things go wrong that we lean on that memory to try and create that feeling of happiness. Whether it’s a fight with a loved one or a bad day at work, in the inner workings of our mind we need to understand that happy memories are connected to food. We need to separate the two

Scarfing back a half a cake won’t take us back to the afternoon birthday party. Half a tub of Ben and Jerry’s won’t put us in the backseat of Mom and Dads car anymore than repeat of that dessert won’t take us to the backyard BBQ and feelings of new and exciting love. Fueling your emotions with food won’t help to recreate those feelings. In fact, if you’re emotionally eating it usually has the opposite effect. It causes guilt, feelings of disappointment in ourselves and makes us feel even worse than before.

Stop your emotional eating in its tracks. Just don’t do it to yourself.

Positive affirmations work
Positive affirmations work

Keep repeating,

“I got this! Everything WILL be ok!!Don’t self sabotage.”

Again-

“I got this! Everything WILL be ok!!Don’t self sabotage.”

Say it out loud and believe it.

“I got this! Everything WILL be ok!!Don’t self sabotage.”

Positive body image

We don’t like taking pictures of ourselves, do we? If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard a person say

‘I hate pictures of myself, so I’m usually the one standing behind the camera’.

While I understand the headspace here, I also understand the polar opposite side of this. I know what it’s like to lose a loved one. I know how precious each and every visual memory is to those left behind. Personally, I pore over pictures of times gone by, remembering missing loved ones and reminiscing on treasured moments. If you’ve gone through life avoiding the camera, in reality you’re robbing your loved ones of these memories. At the end of your days, your loved ones will have to look long and hard to find cherished pictures of you.

Are YOU missing from your own photos
Are YOU missing from your own photos

We’ve trained each other to look down on ourselves. To make mountains out of every flaw and blemish. We are our own worst critics. While looking at your own picture, you see the wrinkles, the messy hair, the extra weight, but you have to realize that’s not what everybody else sees. Instead of those flaws, your people see Mom/Dad, or happy, or love or sweet memories. Its what people recognize when they see pictures of loved ones. It’s what we see when we look at pictures of them, so why not afford ourselves that same respect.

Demand that you respect yourself
Demand that you respect yourself

In a recent coaching session, we planned a simple activity around this premise. I asked for a recent picture of the client with her own friends. In the picture she was dressed to the nines with hair and makeup done, but she couldn’t see that, all she could see was her own faults. She could see how her friends all looked lovely, but her vision if herself was clouded.

I asked her simply to cover her own face (in the picture) with her thumb. To black out the part that she related to her own person, making the ‘body’ in the photo a clean slate. Now we asked her to imagine that body belonging to one of her dearest friends. I asked her to tell me what she saw. Her love and respect for her chosen person came through. She could see how good her friend looked. Gone were all the negative self ideals she imposed on herself. Even though she could look at her friend and see wonderful characteristics, she failed to see them in herself. Even though it was the same person.

When she covered her face with her thumb, as simple as it sounds, she was seeing herself as a outside entity. Impartial and real. When she stepped outside, she could finally see how she looked to the outside world.

Be Kind to yourself
Be Kind to yourself

We have to learn to look at ourselves the way we look at our friends and the outside world. We need to offer ourselves the same respect we offer our friends or even strangers. We deserve it. We have to rid ourselves of that mental block that says we aren’t good enough. Because we are. We always have been.

That’s it for this time! Thanks for joining me for another East Coast Keto Life Lesson.  There’s still a lot to learn and we’re glad you’re along for the ride!

Keep Keto-ing with one foot in front of the other. Keto seconds lead to keto moments, Keto moments lead to keto days. Keto days will take you on a successful keto journey life time. We’ll meet you THERE!!

Before and After
Before and After
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One Comment

  1. All of this is so true. It is a beautiful fall Wednesday to love yourself and life!

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